As the year wraps up, I have been thinking about the lessons I have learned and the time that has passed. It was very easy to dismiss this year but somewhere in there I learned and grew. These were my takeaways.
1. Melbourne is badass.
I’m so proud of my hometown and the 4 million people who have done it so difficult for the last few years.
For 256 days we did hard lockdown. Not to mention 150ish days of other restrictions.
I’m grateful to you. We collectively gave up birthdays, weddings, holidays and stayed within our homes to keep everyone else safe.
The first 6 weeks of a ‘5 Day Lockdown’ are the hardest.
2. Sometimes not getting what you want is for the best.
3. Dating after divorce is not for the faint of heart.
I’ve been out of the dating pool and recently put my toes back in and it’s fucking wild.
There was the guy who ghosted me after dating for 2 months.
The guy who turned out to be 23. That one hurt.
The guy that told me I was too much after one date.
The guy who was the legit definition of f-boi and I fell for it hook, line and sinker.
4. Listen to those little moments when your soul speaks to you
A few months ago, I heard my soul tell me I should buy some art products. To be honest, I was in lockdown and not much else was happening so I got some basic paint from Amazon.
Within months, I had taught myself styles and ways of painting from playing with colours and brushes. Cut to a few months later… my art is now hanging in a gallery in Chapel St, Prahran. And I’ve sold $4000 worth of my art. In less than 5 months.
Those little whispers are important and not to be ignored.
5. You NEED to know how important you are to YOU.
No one is coming to save you. Disney has absolutely lied to us. No one is coming to save you. There is no fucking price charming or a best friend whose going to fix anything for you. You have to save yourself.
You are not someone else responsibility.
It’s your responsibility to take care of yourself.
6. You need to romanticize your own life.
Buy yourself the flowers. Take the photos of the sunsets. Hug for a bit longer. Dance in the rain. Chase the boy. Hold their hand. Lay your heart on the line. Listen to music loudly and sing as loud as you can. Life is short.
7. Honestly, everyone else did what was best for them. You need to do exactly the same.
8. Stop watering dead plants
Stop trying to making things work when they aren’t working.
Stop texting first. Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it. Stop trying to rebuild things that don’t need to be rebuilt. Stop watering the dead plants.
9. 5 or more
This is the benchmark for things I am doing in my life and I have been using this every single day.
“Out of 10, how much joy does this add to my life?’
“Out of 10, how productive is this activity to my life’
It needs to be a 5 or above for me to keep doing it.
Read the blog here: It needs to be a 5 or above. (jemimahashleigh.com)
10. DO THE THING.
If there is something that you want to do that harms nobody and is of benefit to you – you owe it to yourself to do the thing. Be a little bit selfish here for a second and think about only yourself.
What will make you the most happy? It’s not about what other people want. This is your life and it’s ending one second at a time.
11. Writing a book in a pandemic is fucking hard
If you’ve followed any of this journey, this second book has well and truly gotten away from me. I got into some real trouble when I started researching witches and talking to a geneticist. But it’s coming together. Sort of.
12. Stop listening to people who wouldn’t change places with.
13. When the desire to experience something better is stronger than the desire for the comfortable, then your life will change – but not before
14. Tell them how you feel.
15. Habits are KING
At the start of lockdown, I read Atomic Habits and I made a list of NON-NEGOTIABLES that I needed to do. 10,000 steps. Vitamins. Protein vegetable smoothie. Exercises. Meditation. Leave the House. Empty my inbox. And each day I made sure I did them. Over the course of the year and the more frequently I repeated this- they became habits.. I haven’t been sick. I sleep better. I’m healthier. I’m happier. Remember: Transformation isn’t a future event, it’s the sum of your present day activities.
16. You’re allowed to be both.
You can have green smoothie every day and also eat a burger and fries.
You can meditate every single day and still have a tequila shot.
You can be a 5am rise and shiner and still sleep in on the weekend.
You can run every morning and still take a nap and at a chocolate bar.
You can exist as both. What is the point of life if not to live it?
17. Its your story so feel free to hit them with a plot twist any time you want.
Quit your job. Tell someone no. Change your business. It’s your story.
18. Understand your finances
Understand how your money works and make it work for you. Never put all your money in the hands of your partner, don’t own a credit card and save 10% of every cent you make into a savings account. Every woman should have a F*** Off Fund.
19. Every woman I know is crushing it.
Just a fact. No need to elaborate.
20. Some of you are sleeping on skills that can make you a millionaire.
21. No matter what – you need to grow and evolve. Do not be in the same place in 12 months time.