As the year is coming to an end – I think we can agree when we ask ourselves WTF was that? This year was incredible, was insane and exactly what I needed.
At the end of this year, I find myself living in Melbourne VIC in the middle of the CBD.
The Visibility Lab continues to grow every single day.
I finished the Awards Portal with Monash University.
This year, I fell in love. I also had my heart sufficiently broken.
I ran my first ever marathon. I laughed till I cried.
I met so many incredible people.
I thrived in my role with BxNetworking.
I travelled more than I thought humanly possible.
These were the lessons of 2023.
1. Your friendship circle is f*****ng everything. Seriously.
This year because of my circle I’ve had free VIP tickets to Fallout Boy.
I got to hold a REAL T-REX bone.
I climbed a mountain in New Zealand.
I have been drunk on a 60m yacht.
I played table tennis with Nick Kyrios.
I got given Lego from Brickman’s studio…
All of these opportunities happened because other people provided them to me.
Your circle is everything. You truly are the sum of people you spend the most time.
2. One More Day Idea
In October, I went to a Conference on The Gold Coast where one of the speakers Mike Michalowicz proposed this one simple idea. ‘One More Day.’
It was a simple idea. You wait one more day before you spend a dollar and once that day has passed, you can buy it. But you need to wait one more day.
This changed the way I thought about throw away cash. I waited one more day before I bought that dress online. I waited one more day to put that Amazon order through. I continually waited one more day.
Using this theory, I’ve legitimately only bought about 50% of the things I really thought I needed in the moment. The impulse faded. I found very quickly I didn’t need it anymore.
3. Keep it private until you know it’s permanent.
4. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
5. Travelling for work is not always fun.
I did 37 business trips this year. Which means at least 37 different hotel rooms, over 70 flights, over 100 Ubers – and 70+ nights that I didn’t spend in my own bed.
Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had incredible opportunities during this time but you miss so much of your life.
You also stay in random hotels; in beds you don’t know and you don’t always sleep well.
I am sure my business took some hits along the way.
I know I dropped balls.
I am grateful every day I get the opportunity to travel but jeeeez.
7. Your neighbours can turn out to be your best friends.
8. Tell peoples it’s your birthday. They get real mad if you don’t mention it.
9. I like going to fancy places but I most prefer hole in the walls.
10. Save your photos
Every month I take the month proceeding photos and put them into folders on my laptop. At the end of the year, I put these photos into a photobook. I think were going to lose all of these moments that were once so important because of digital format. It’s hard to show other people – so I am reverting back to photo albums.
I want my grandkids to pull these apart one day and think ‘Damn she was so fucking cool.’
11. I have very curly hair.
You think I would know this – but I didn’t. I always thought my hair was really frizzy and wavy uncontrollable hair. Negative. It turns out, I have very curly hair and all I needed was product and someone to show me how to do it. So frizzy girls, try the curly girl routine.
12. Tell them again just who the f**k you are.
13. 28,000 Days
I read recently that we get about 4000 weeks, or 28,000 days. A wedding is one of them. Graduation is one of them. Retiring is one of them. But those “big days” become just a blur and part of the story. The point of all of this is that the story needs to be amazing. We can’t wait for the big things.
Let’s do some math (sorry). If you have two big things a year and you live to 77 – that’s 154 days of big things. You live the majority of your time in the other 27,846 – in the seemingly mundane. Life is happening in the sunrises we watch, the loved ones we see, the work we do, the magic we create. Stop measuring your life by the big moments. You have to be able to measure by the small moments. They are almost everything.
14. Netball is harder as you get older.
I’m still pretty good though. And super competitive.
15. Go to the thing.
Even if you don’t want to. Even if you are tired. Even if you won’t know anyone. Could be the best thing you ever did.
16. Keep in touch with those old friends. I had an incredible experience this year attending my 20th high school reunion. It was hands down one of the best nights of the year. I never realised how easy it was going to be to lose touch with people I would have sworn I would be friends with for the rest of my life. As you get older, the more you need the people you knew when you were younger. They loved you first.
17. Running a marathon is easy if you don’t realise what you are doing.
Fallout Boy and Limp Bizkit are good motivators.
18. Running events continues to be something I need to do but I continue to have a love hate relationship with.
19. Do it ANYWAY.
Do it sad.
Do it angry.
Do it heartbroken.
Do it miserable.
Do it excited.
Do it energeised.
Do it happy.
Do it tired – do it anyway.
However you have to get it done, make sure you get it done.
20. If it’s costing you your peace again and again and again – it’s too expensive.
21. You don’t need to spend your life trying to make other people feel comfortable.
That is not your job. It is also not your job to be responsible for other peoples emotions.
22. Let them.
23. You need to make a decision to change your life. You are never going to feel ready to do things that scare you. You will never feel ready to take a leap. Your brain is designed to protect you and change requires risk. Immediately you are going to hit your own emergency break.
If you want to change your life – you need to make a decision to change your life.