The Blog

Things I Learned In My 38th Year

1. Say YES more

Even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it seems like a bit of a stretch. Say yes to things and figure out what happens next. Because I said YES, this year I have done the following:

  • Been in the same room as Oprah Winfrey
  • I now have a piece of toast tattoo on my thigh
  • Been to my bucket list item of The Magic Castle in Los Angeles
  • Danced at a Slipknot Music Festival
  • Played table tennis against Nick Kyrios

And much much more. I was invited, opportunities arose – and here we are. Say YES.

2. Chaotic energy for the win

I’m currently going through what can best be described as a chaotic phase. I went out of lunch the other day and came back with a nose ring. I went to buy milk and I came back with a 8kg crystal geode. I’m not sure what will occur next but I’m looking forward to it.

3. Friendships change

Don’t expect that every friendship you have will stay the same. Sometimes you change and sometimes they change. Sometimes they aren’t good for you. Sometimes you will drift and come back together. You will drift and you might come back. Overall, things will change.

But please remember: you should never apologise for outgrowing people who had the chance to grow with you.

4. Trust the journey

I’m so thankful I didn’t end up with the things I wanted.

5. Not caring about what people think about you any more is a dangerous level of freedom

6. Boundaries. Boundaries. Boundaries

If you are struggling with this, I recommend Boundary Boss – Terri Cole. This book changed my life.

7. Where you live will affect your life

I moved into my dream apartment at the end of 2022. I now have access to a gym 24/7, a spa and sauna. I live opposite a fresh food market. I created an environment where I can thrive.

8. Call your parents more

See them more frequently. They aren’t here forever.

9. Travel more but sleep more when you travel. Please

This is a real life lived experience. I’m working on this blog on a plane from Auckland to Melbourne on about 4 hours sleep. I am hungover after partying on a $60M yacht.

10. Make it a game!

I have been trying to run more – and I did that by gamifying it. Thank you Conqueror Challenge and my ever growing list of medals. I also did a 17km by accident. That was fun.

11. If nothing else – just WAIT

If there is a few summary of the lessons from the last few years, it’s patience and learning to wait.

Things are bad? Just wait.

Heart broken? Just wait.

It will get better and it will change – just wait.

12. How someone treats you is how they feel about you

13. More followers is a vanity metric

It means nothing about your success or your sales. It means nothing about your character. It does mean people will send you free stuff and that is never not weird.

14. Leave yourself alone

Just for a little bit – stop criticising yourself or berating yourself. You need to be your own biggest supporter.   

15. Let them go

Never grieve for someone who walked away. The universe will always make sure.

16. Always wanted to try something? Do it

I started painting and sold thousands of dollars’ worth of pieces. I started axe throwing and got invited to join a league. I took up running (albeit badly), but I did and now compete in online challenges.

Remember, we all start as amateurs at everything – just try the stuff that interests you. Your soul is showing you what you should be exploring, so follow your interests even if they don’t make sense.

17. I’m not a maybe

I will always be too much or not enough for someone else. I may as well be enough for myself first – and as much as it hurts – I’d rather lose them, than myself ever again.

18. Make friends with people at bars

I’ve had winner with new friends. I’ve been invited to a birthday party. I got sent $400 worth of Nyx Makeup for my new friend who is a package designer for Barbie. Nyx Makeup…who ended designing Barbie makeup boxes for the new movie.

19. Intentionally act like the person you want to become

20. Anti-depressants work

Earlier this year I came off my anti-depressants of six years and as my friend Adam said “you really fu***ed around and found out”. It was not good. It turns out they work really well and I’m not ever going to mess with those brain chemicals again. I legitimately need them.

21. Read

Every day, even just a few pages. Even audio books. Personal development is everything.

22. It is a privilege to know me

When I say this, I don’t mean this in a ‘cocky’ or ‘better than you’ type of way. But in a ‘I know what I bring to the table, and I know my worth’ kind of way. I will always bring kindness and openness, support and community with me. You should want me at that table. 

23. Next time you are feeling out of it, or lazy

Channel that girl energy or the energy of that girl would do and make a pretend game and do what she will do. You will 100% get more done.

24. Pay attention to who gives you distance when you needed love

Make them stay away after you heal.

25. If you break your bed, you will need to explain to the people at Amart what happened and that’s embarrassing. I will not be elaborating

26. If it’s costing you your peace again and again and again – it’s too expensive

27. The version of you that you are right now – is why you have what you have. You might need to shift your identity to get more

28. DO it scared. DO it terrified. Do

29. Treat people with the exact same effort and consistency as they treat you

And watch what happens.


This will hit some harder than others, but I think we all need to be reminded of this at some point:

You need to show up as her HER before you become HER
You have to show up as HER on the days that you don’t feel like HER
You have to show up as HER when the whole world tells you that you aren’t HER
You have to show up as HER when everyone is hating on you

We do not tread lightly, because our footsteps are weighted by all the struggles that we carried to get here. So yeah, it’s true what they say “heavy is the head that wears the crown” but Queen, I better not see that crown slip for anybody. You have to be HER. Then you will be her.

31. No one can tell the difference between good knockoffs and $1200 bags

This was annoying to learn.

32. You will be too much for some people. Those aren’t your people

Tell them to find less. Or don’t. Either way, walk away.

33. Trench Friends

Do you want to know who your real friends are? Go through something ugly and watch who gets into the trench with you to help get you through. They are your trench friends and you truly have less than you think.

34. If you carry the same bricks from relationship to relationship, you’ll end up building the same house

You will keep repeating the same mistakes until you change something, so before you jump into another relationship, make sure you have healed and learned from past mistakes.

35. Keep it private until you know it’s permanent

Also don’t hook up with your friends. Don’t ask how I know this. (I will not be elaborating.)

36. Want to be successful?

Do it sad.
Do it angry.
Do it heartbroken.
Do it miserable.
Do it excited.
Do it energised.
Do it happy.
Do it tired.
Do it confident.
Do it discouraged.
Do it anyway.

However you need to do it – to get it done, do it. This is it will take some days.

37.  At some point, you will need let go of your old self

At some point in your life, you will realise that the old version of you is not helping you move forward, and you will need to let your old self go. Saying goodbye to your old self is really hard.

They are the person who got you where you are. They are one who got you to hell and back and made sure you survived. That version feels like a bad ass.

But that version of you who got you here needs you to let go. You need to purge the identity they held and come into the new person you are.

You worked so hard to be this version, and you deserve to thrive during this time.

38. You will be too much for some people. Those aren’t your people

Tell them to find less. Or don’t. Either way, walk away.

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